The most beautiful way to inspire someone is when that was never even the goal

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András Feldmár likes to say that helping the people who come to him for therapy isn't his goal at all.

Sounds strange coming from a therapist, right?

The explanation is actually simple: the moment he wanted to help, he'd lock the other person into a rigid role. He'd be the all-knowing doctor, and the person across from him the patient who needs to be "fixed." That dogma kills equality. The real goal isn't healing — it's deepening the connection. Helping the other person dare to trust, believe, love again. And if they happen to feel better along the way? According to András, that's just a coincidence.

This mindset resonates deeply with me. I recently experienced it firsthand with a new friend of mine, Nóri.

Nóri is studying economics at the University of Szeged. I'm ruthlessly critical of Hungarian education — I think it's outdated, a bad play. You don't get practical tools for building a business, nobody talks about the practical value of AI, you don't learn to negotiate, present, or find investors, and they have no clue about digital marketing. Instead, they force-feed you useless formulas, dusty theories, and bureaucratic dogma.

Most degree programs are exactly like that. Unless you're training to be a surgeon or a lawyer, it's almost completely useless. Yet parents still cling to the old mantra with everything they've got:

"Without a degree, you're worth nothing."

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The reality is the exact opposite: a bare diploma gets you nowhere in the market. You have no experience, your practical knowledge is zero, you've wasted 4-5 years on nothing, and reality devours you unprepared.

I talked about this with Nóri over beers one completely ordinary evening. I didn't want to convince her of anything. I didn't want her to do anything differently. I just honestly shared my opinion.

And I told her how I work. How I pick up skills online ten times faster than any university would ever let you. I showed her the basics of conversion rate optimization (CRO), how I build websites with AI, and how I put together an offer clients can't refuse.

Nóri's eyes lit up. She got a taste for it. Within a single week, she'd struck a deal with two companies: she'd build their websites in exchange for putting them in her portfolio.

But the real surprise came after that.

At our last meetup, she told me she'd rethought her life and made a radical decision: she put her university studies on hold. She's now putting all her energy into chasing her real dream — becoming an airline pilot.

She came to me with a finished plan and dove straight into making it happen. She's not daydreaming. She's taking steps, here and now. And when she added that she owed this realization to our conversations, I was speechless.

That's the last thing I expected. I never tried to turn her into a pilot. I never tried to tell her what to do with her life.

This is exactly what Feldmár was talking about.

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I didn't try to help — I was just present, and I shared my own world. And from that game-free connection, Nóri found the courage to step onto her own path. It's an uplifting feeling. And honestly, Nóri's decision inspires me today just as much as I once inspired her.